Congratulations! Although, from experience, that might be a loaded congratulations because the space after the sale isn’t always what it seems like. I’m sharing part II on Sunday, I hope it helps provide a new perspective!
How brave of you to say this. I think, often times, we can get stuck in the gap between freedom and autonomy. I thought getting the "freedom" would get me the answer to creating my next life chapter, but it turned out I needed to considered a deeper exploration underneath, too. Who's doing the 'wanting?' Is that my 'wanting' or my mom's? My partner's? Anyways, that's what came up for me. Best to you!
Beautifully, vulnerably written - thank you for sharing your struggles in the hope of helping others realize great careers also hit speed bumps.
I can relate. After leading top brands around the world (Nike, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Park Hyatt,) I lost my job the same month I won industry awards. It took 18 months to overcome the anxiety & depression.
The question that helped me see light through the dark forest: What do you want to do NEXT? Adding that simple word put it into perspective and took some pressure off.
Our lives are a series of expanding circles, not straight lines. When we leave one role, I learned we don’t fall out of the sky. Air currents of skills and experience keep us flying.
This means a lot, thank you. Losing your job the same month you won the awards is the exact whiplash I was trying to name. The outside says you're winning while the inside is in free fall.
"What do you want to do NEXT" is a great reframe. That one word takes the weight of "forever" off it. And "we don't fall out of the sky, the air currents of skills and experience keep us flying" is going to stay with me.
Heavy on the "buying your way out of not knowing". I'm 4 months into a sabbatical/career pivot and the uncertainty is hard to sit with. I still sometimes find myself applying for random jobs I don't even want because it feels productive, like it'll bring me closer to an answer. I enjoyed your idea of a "certainty audit" and will give that a go!
Rose, this one hit me. Applying for jobs you don't even want just because it feels productive? I did that for months. It's not really about the job. It's about making the not-knowing stop for an afternoon. Four months in is a hard place to be (mine ended up being gosh -well over a year), so go easy on yourself. Definitely try the certainty audit and come back and tell me how it goes. Sending strength!
Lovely self observation to share, Rose, about applying for jobs you don't even want. I wonder if the uncomfortableness of the uncertainty is a sign that you're on the path as if your true inner self is signaling its readiness to dance to her own tune. For me, this meant sifting through all those voices that shaped me through the years (dad, mom, teacher, partner) and let fall away those that no longer serve me. A lot of "this, not that" unearthed a part of me that knows herself and knows the way. Best to you, Rose, on your exploratory journey.
L-Mani, take all the time you need with it. Being in that season is heavy, and I remember how disorienting it felt from the inside. The one thing I believe is universally true is that everything in life, the good and the bad, is temporary. This season is real, and it is also not permanent. I'm writing next week about how I turned mine around, and I hope something in it is useful to you. Sending you a lot of strength.
This self assessment and mind games to find the answer resonate deeply. You followed the tried and true and the linear path. The older I get the more I realize this pathway is never linear. It is filled with conditions, constraints and environments that shape us and many times they are not logical or systematic (ladder). It usually is the random phone call, the happenstance introduction and the wherewithal to realize this door may be the one ready to be opened.
Indeed, it never linear. Once I realized this, I felt like I was handed to cheat code to the game, but arriving to this realization was quite the journey.
OMG, this resonated so much, though I am not as accomplished as you have been, professionally. The question I'm sitting with and still refusing to learn 🤦♂️is What do I want to do with my life? What is a life worth living for me?
@Whui-Mei Yeo Please don't compare the professional stuff - it’s not the interesting part :) I’ve never met you, but I’m certain that you’ve brought many amazing things into the world. As for the question: Perhaps, you already know and you're not ready to say it out loud yet? That was true for me for years. Sending you so much strength on this journey!
My favorite mantra in times of uncertainty or in-between times when searching for the next “thing” is, “This, or something better”. I never assume I have the answers in my head or even on a job board. So the CEO role that didn’t pan out…well, “that, or something better”. I’m curious is part two explores the fact that no job ever is going to be the thing that satisfies or completes us or fulfills us. A harsh reality when our identities are so tied into what “do” in our culture. Even if you got that “perfect” job life is going to throw other wrenches at you (the family health issue for example), so it’s just a never ending hamster wheel. I do believe there are jobs where you are going to feel more aligned and energized but I think often times we just put waaaay to high of expectations on jobs to be the thing that completes or fulfills us. The true winning game is just about being ok inside regardless — a challenge for sure and one I’m working on!
I love this response, Liz. Thank you so much for reading.
I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Part two turned out to be very fitting to your observations, and I'm fully on board with what you said. Life is constantly evolving, and the work is learning to move with it.
I look forward to reading part two! You are inspiring me to get back to my writing journey. I think so much of what we are seeking is authentic self expression, especially as deeply in-tune women, and that can be so stifled in these corporate jobs. It’s great to have an outlet for it.
And haha yeah a sabbatical with kids is no break, even if they are in school a few hours.
Thank you so much for this - beautiful writing, beautiful insight. I had a forced (cancer) sabbatical that did let me go back to my exec job, but I've gone back as a different person which muddies the waters of what comes next for me, to say the least. Can't say I've figured out the next part of my journey yet but reading this made my internal struggle feel seen and heard.
Sarah, thank you for this. A forced sabbatical is its own animal, and I don't pretend to know that road. But "I've gone back as a different person" is powerful. That might be the hardest version of the in-between: same desk, same title, new you, and nobody around you can see that the person who left never fully came back.
For what it's worth, I don't think muddied waters mean you're lost. I think the different person just hasn't finished telling you what she wants yet. No rush. She went through a lot. Sending you strength.
the question it took me a while to embrace was “what if there is no going back?” I took a sabbatical (or something lol) in 2016 that ended up lasting about 12-14 months. then again in 2023. the idea of going back to what I left always played like a running tape in the background during hard moments until I could come to grips with this question.
"What if there's no going back?" Oof, that's the one. Mine was "maybe I should have stayed on the ladder," running on a loop during the hard moments. It only got quiet once I stopped trying to get back to who I was before. Twice, 12 to 14 months each. You've clearly done the real work here. Thank you for this, Kevin.
Nathalie, I’ve been there. It’s harrowing. And yet…you are being remade. (Do you feel the support and guidance in that?) Your medicine is finding you, and now you can meet it. That’s effing courageous. Profound. Thank you for listening. I look forward to learning more. ✨
Yes. Honestly. You're being remade. It's the caterpillar-in-the-chrysalis thing: dark, cramped, deeply uncomfortable, and you can't see the point of it while you're in there. But you come out stronger. I'm so glad you're here. Excited to share more.
I’m three weeks into my sabbatical, and it was never supposed to be especially rest-focused. But my body seems to have had other plans: a few nasty viruses, low iron, and a lower back that has now gone out twice. I’m fascinated by all of it, though I’ve definitely had some dark moments too. I’m realizing that the price of eventual clarity may be exactly this discomfort I’m sitting in — but that’s much easier to understand than it is to actually embrace. Looking forward to reading your next piece.
Oh Lauren. My heart goes out to you. The body tends to tell us what we need to know. I struggled with low iron too, and it made the break so much harder. FWIW, an iron IV changed my life, personally. Sending you all the strength in this new chapter.
Wow this article spoke to me in a new way. So how did u figure out what’s you wanted to do next?
I’ve sold my company 2 years ago and left to start a new venture just earlier this year and had a big reality check as well.
Congratulations! Although, from experience, that might be a loaded congratulations because the space after the sale isn’t always what it seems like. I’m sharing part II on Sunday, I hope it helps provide a new perspective!
How brave of you to say this. I think, often times, we can get stuck in the gap between freedom and autonomy. I thought getting the "freedom" would get me the answer to creating my next life chapter, but it turned out I needed to considered a deeper exploration underneath, too. Who's doing the 'wanting?' Is that my 'wanting' or my mom's? My partner's? Anyways, that's what came up for me. Best to you!
Beautifully, vulnerably written - thank you for sharing your struggles in the hope of helping others realize great careers also hit speed bumps.
I can relate. After leading top brands around the world (Nike, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Park Hyatt,) I lost my job the same month I won industry awards. It took 18 months to overcome the anxiety & depression.
The question that helped me see light through the dark forest: What do you want to do NEXT? Adding that simple word put it into perspective and took some pressure off.
Our lives are a series of expanding circles, not straight lines. When we leave one role, I learned we don’t fall out of the sky. Air currents of skills and experience keep us flying.
This means a lot, thank you. Losing your job the same month you won the awards is the exact whiplash I was trying to name. The outside says you're winning while the inside is in free fall.
"What do you want to do NEXT" is a great reframe. That one word takes the weight of "forever" off it. And "we don't fall out of the sky, the air currents of skills and experience keep us flying" is going to stay with me.
Heavy on the "buying your way out of not knowing". I'm 4 months into a sabbatical/career pivot and the uncertainty is hard to sit with. I still sometimes find myself applying for random jobs I don't even want because it feels productive, like it'll bring me closer to an answer. I enjoyed your idea of a "certainty audit" and will give that a go!
Rose, this one hit me. Applying for jobs you don't even want just because it feels productive? I did that for months. It's not really about the job. It's about making the not-knowing stop for an afternoon. Four months in is a hard place to be (mine ended up being gosh -well over a year), so go easy on yourself. Definitely try the certainty audit and come back and tell me how it goes. Sending strength!
Lovely self observation to share, Rose, about applying for jobs you don't even want. I wonder if the uncomfortableness of the uncertainty is a sign that you're on the path as if your true inner self is signaling its readiness to dance to her own tune. For me, this meant sifting through all those voices that shaped me through the years (dad, mom, teacher, partner) and let fall away those that no longer serve me. A lot of "this, not that" unearthed a part of me that knows herself and knows the way. Best to you, Rose, on your exploratory journey.
Im gonna need some time to process this as I'm in the same season as you...or as you were.
L-Mani, take all the time you need with it. Being in that season is heavy, and I remember how disorienting it felt from the inside. The one thing I believe is universally true is that everything in life, the good and the bad, is temporary. This season is real, and it is also not permanent. I'm writing next week about how I turned mine around, and I hope something in it is useful to you. Sending you a lot of strength.
I appreciate you!
This self assessment and mind games to find the answer resonate deeply. You followed the tried and true and the linear path. The older I get the more I realize this pathway is never linear. It is filled with conditions, constraints and environments that shape us and many times they are not logical or systematic (ladder). It usually is the random phone call, the happenstance introduction and the wherewithal to realize this door may be the one ready to be opened.
Indeed, it never linear. Once I realized this, I felt like I was handed to cheat code to the game, but arriving to this realization was quite the journey.
I hope your loved one is improving, Nat.
Thank you! We are in a much better place, thank you 🙏🏽
Love the idea of the certainty audit - gosh how many times I try to buy/think/work my way into an answer!
I’m guilty as charged too! I hope the audit helps!
OMG, this resonated so much, though I am not as accomplished as you have been, professionally. The question I'm sitting with and still refusing to learn 🤦♂️is What do I want to do with my life? What is a life worth living for me?
@Whui-Mei Yeo Please don't compare the professional stuff - it’s not the interesting part :) I’ve never met you, but I’m certain that you’ve brought many amazing things into the world. As for the question: Perhaps, you already know and you're not ready to say it out loud yet? That was true for me for years. Sending you so much strength on this journey!
My favorite mantra in times of uncertainty or in-between times when searching for the next “thing” is, “This, or something better”. I never assume I have the answers in my head or even on a job board. So the CEO role that didn’t pan out…well, “that, or something better”. I’m curious is part two explores the fact that no job ever is going to be the thing that satisfies or completes us or fulfills us. A harsh reality when our identities are so tied into what “do” in our culture. Even if you got that “perfect” job life is going to throw other wrenches at you (the family health issue for example), so it’s just a never ending hamster wheel. I do believe there are jobs where you are going to feel more aligned and energized but I think often times we just put waaaay to high of expectations on jobs to be the thing that completes or fulfills us. The true winning game is just about being ok inside regardless — a challenge for sure and one I’m working on!
I love this response, Liz. Thank you so much for reading.
I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. Part two turned out to be very fitting to your observations, and I'm fully on board with what you said. Life is constantly evolving, and the work is learning to move with it.
https://www.spreadsheetsandshamans.com/p/i-chased-a-job-for-fourteen-months
I look forward to reading part two! You are inspiring me to get back to my writing journey. I think so much of what we are seeking is authentic self expression, especially as deeply in-tune women, and that can be so stifled in these corporate jobs. It’s great to have an outlet for it.
And haha yeah a sabbatical with kids is no break, even if they are in school a few hours.
Thank you so much for this - beautiful writing, beautiful insight. I had a forced (cancer) sabbatical that did let me go back to my exec job, but I've gone back as a different person which muddies the waters of what comes next for me, to say the least. Can't say I've figured out the next part of my journey yet but reading this made my internal struggle feel seen and heard.
Sarah, thank you for this. A forced sabbatical is its own animal, and I don't pretend to know that road. But "I've gone back as a different person" is powerful. That might be the hardest version of the in-between: same desk, same title, new you, and nobody around you can see that the person who left never fully came back.
For what it's worth, I don't think muddied waters mean you're lost. I think the different person just hasn't finished telling you what she wants yet. No rush. She went through a lot. Sending you strength.
Thanks xx
I was meant to read this and am so grateful for you, your realness, and your wisdom. I can't wait for part two.
Jaclyn, this means so much. Part two is coming and it goes even deeper. Thank you for being here. 🙏🏽
Love this one Nathalie. What a journey...and what an incredible reflection.
Thank you for helping me get to the other side!
the question it took me a while to embrace was “what if there is no going back?” I took a sabbatical (or something lol) in 2016 that ended up lasting about 12-14 months. then again in 2023. the idea of going back to what I left always played like a running tape in the background during hard moments until I could come to grips with this question.
"What if there's no going back?" Oof, that's the one. Mine was "maybe I should have stayed on the ladder," running on a loop during the hard moments. It only got quiet once I stopped trying to get back to who I was before. Twice, 12 to 14 months each. You've clearly done the real work here. Thank you for this, Kevin.
Nathalie, I’ve been there. It’s harrowing. And yet…you are being remade. (Do you feel the support and guidance in that?) Your medicine is finding you, and now you can meet it. That’s effing courageous. Profound. Thank you for listening. I look forward to learning more. ✨
Yes. Honestly. You're being remade. It's the caterpillar-in-the-chrysalis thing: dark, cramped, deeply uncomfortable, and you can't see the point of it while you're in there. But you come out stronger. I'm so glad you're here. Excited to share more.
@Ashley Varnado
I’m three weeks into my sabbatical, and it was never supposed to be especially rest-focused. But my body seems to have had other plans: a few nasty viruses, low iron, and a lower back that has now gone out twice. I’m fascinated by all of it, though I’ve definitely had some dark moments too. I’m realizing that the price of eventual clarity may be exactly this discomfort I’m sitting in — but that’s much easier to understand than it is to actually embrace. Looking forward to reading your next piece.
Oh Lauren. My heart goes out to you. The body tends to tell us what we need to know. I struggled with low iron too, and it made the break so much harder. FWIW, an iron IV changed my life, personally. Sending you all the strength in this new chapter.